Aren't I just absolutely rubbish at this blogging stuff. I'm sooo terrible at keeping up with it.. I was the same with diaries when I was younger, they only ever lasted a few days.. even though the intention was always there and all that. Well anyway...
It's 7.30am in the morning here (HAA! I know... not my choice..) and I'm sat at work sipping chamomile tea with honey in it.. and also I have just noticed with a little dozy fly in it too. I hope there wasn't two flies a minute ago and I've swallowed one.. I've done that a few times this week.. and you feel them buzzing in your throat and... uurg I'm making meself gip now. What was I saying? Right, well... I don't really want to be at work right now. Two days ago I would have been dozing in a tent in the middle of cropton forest. phhwooar it was just gorgeous. We went for a week and I'd sit in the sun every morning doing reiki (yes.. we actually had hot weather!) whilst the bloke went off on his bike for an hour in the woods. Went to Whitby a few times and to lots of pretty little villages and I whinged about wanting to live somewhere like that "soooo muuuch!!" and he frantically tried to avoid the sheep because he's scared of them. Wimpy. Not at allll like me who was held hostage in the trailer tent one morning by a wasp for 25 minutes while he went off for his bike ride. The bloody thing came in three times and three times I politely guided it out and got a bit panicky when even after I shut the tent door it managed to find it's way through a gap at the bottom and came straight for me. Then when I guided it out (a bit less politely this time- a saucepan was used) it paraded the outside of the tent for 15 minutes and wouldn't let me out. Then I realised that maybe the fact that I'd been burning rose incense hadn't helped so I put it out.. and it left. I bet you are glad I shared that story with you, yes? I wish I could be completely earthy and welcoming to all of earths lovely creatures, and I do pretty darned well but wasps I just draw the line at. Even if my mind is thinking 'aw yeess.. I'll let it crawl all over my arm and coo over it and it'll be just lovely, sort of like a very small prickly wriggley dog' the old panic attack involving ridiculous amounts of swearing, the flinging about of pans and boyfriends seems to happen regardless. Shame really. I'd be all the more frantic hippy if I could sort that out.
I have not just described my camping holiday. I spent almost the whole blog talking about a wasp.... in case you missed that. Maybe this is why I don't blog very often! Still, we had a very nice week anyway and got some lovely photos of us both posing against grass and dry stone walls and sheep and other nice things including an old gypsy caravan at a local folk museum which I wanted to take home with me but Tristan said it wouldn't fit in the car. I also met a goat who repeatedly said "down theeere" in a very Yorkshire accent. I would have liked to have taken him home too. He didn't look like he was looked after very well the poor fluffpot. The nices pics we have are of Robin Hoods bay which is a stunning little topsy turvy seaside town that just sends shivers up your spine its so olde worlde and ambient. Sooo.. maybe if my boyfriend will help me because I am rubbish with computers I might try and get some pics up soon.
This is just so exciting! Not sure if I've mentioned before that I'm a bit of a songwriter..? I keep it secret by hardly ever writing anything... ahem... but, BUT it's never really been down to laziness or anything like that.. ooh no, I suffer from severe writers block.. 99% of the time, that is, I'll have a head full of little snippets which I find so hard to actually put together and form something solid .. then every so aften it all pours out at once and in a few days I'll write a song. I've come to realise that when this 'just happens' I can actually hear it very clearly pop into my head... in the form of 2 female voices in very wierd and wonderful harmonies. It has a really surreal and mysterious quality to it, which is really very beautiful. It has always worked like this for me. It has happened this week.. suddenly I heard a few lines sung to me about a girl named 'harriet'. (This is how the themes of most of my songs appear too - usually a character will appear in my head and the song forms from there. I normally end up feeling attached to these 'characters'.. really feeling their essences, and thats why sometimes it takes a long time for me to end up feeling truly happy with any song I write, as I always get that panicky feeling that it 'hasn't quite captured Harriet well enough..' for example.) It has been more vivid than ever this time. It is the first time I have 100% noticed these voices. It has just always been that way and I suppose I've been taking it for granted.
So this time I thought... I could possibly be getting a lot more out of this than I have been doing. So I took a sort of ritual approach to it. Lit lots of candles, gave myself some reiki, consiously asked these guides for help and entered a trance-like state whilst finger-picking the same sequence of chords, just waiting to see if anything would emerge. Well, don't get me wrong, an entire song didn't just pop into my head, but I heard some wonderful things.. and not only that, but I found myself in a strong visual. I was sat in thick woodland, under a tree (unsure of the species... wish I knew that.. it could be relevant..) the forest is gleaming with that wonderful green light when a downpour has just ended. The tree trunk and ground surrounding me is covered with beautiful green moss I look ahead, there she is. Harriet. I knew it was her. She didn't say anything.. I didn't even see her face. Just her dress (heavy petticoats, etc.. victorian era I think..) and i picked up her sadness. Real melancholy. It was very moving, although it only lasted a few seconds. I thanked her and made it know that I hoped we would be able to communicate at some point, and that I would try and write a nice song about her. The visual ended pretty quickly.. and I know this will be a slow process as I only get tiny bits at a time.. but it is going to be so exciting to carry on with this.
So now I wonder.. are these characters simply fictional and created by my own mind, representing different complex slants of my personality, shown to me by my spirit guides (these harmonising voices) in order to help me become more in touch with myself, or are these characters actually from the spirit world. Muses, so to speak..? Either way.. nice eh?!
Over the past few weeks something has started to develop. When I meditate I'm getting a lot (and I mean a LOT.. one after the other) of very clear faces appearing in my minds eye, which I dont recognise, from very small toddlers to elderly folk. It's quite lovely. Sometimes I get little essences of their characters too, but I'm curious as to what this might mean. They are all very clear faces, full of character, of seemingly everyday people, sort of like glimpses of photographs really (which is quite normal for me.. a lot of my visuals appear like snapshots). Any thoughts..?
Am a little bit twitchy and concerned about my aunty. Please do shout out if I'm wrong about this..
I was attuned into my reiki 1 a few months ago, and my aunty from edinburgh has just been attuned into hers. It was through my Aunty's best friend that I found out about her in the first place. This friend of my aunty's is a truly lovely woman who has done fantastic work with reiki all over the world, so clearly has an awful lot of experience behind her. Heres the thing.. I got a phonecall from my Aunt today... she sounded awful. She basically phoned to say she was attuned yesterday and to ask me if it was normal to feel as ill as she did. I explained that it was totally normal and that it was simply the very powerful healing experience that an attunement brings resulting in something called 'the healing crisis' when an awful lot of toxins are all released into the bloodstream at once.. resulting in you feelish rubbish before feeling that fantastic euphoria afterwards. I told her that it's exactly what i went through and that she would probably just need to get through the 21 day clearance process before she completely began to feel the benefit. I then asked if she had been making sure she treated herself with reiki for at least an hour every day. She then said 'she hasn't taught me how to do that yet.. I'm seeing her next weekend about that.' .........riiight. Is it me, or is that VERY unusual?? Pleeeease correct me if I'm wrong, because I really do feel strange questioning a woman who I idolised so much in the first place, but how exactly are you supposed to get yourself through the clearance after an attunement if you haven't been taught how to treat yourself..?? I couldn't believe it! I didn't want to panic her by getting too cross about it, but I've just never heard of this before. Can anybody shed some light on this? Or just let me know if I'm wrong to be concerned by this? The reason my aunty has been attuned in the first place is because she has such a stressful existance at the moment already. Her and my uncle have a severely autistic daughter, which is such a painful thing for them to go through, and the stress of this is very much getting th better of them.
In spite of myself I suppose maybe I am being overly cautious as my reiki master failed to mention quite a few fairly important points to me when I was attuned. I was never warned about any form of psychic protection or cleansing techniques. It was only through books and friends that I learned the importance of those. When treating anyone else, (particularly people with deep emotional problems - such as my dad who is a severe depressive, it's very easy to end up soaking in any bad energies from them, particularly if you are very sensitive.)
Could someone maybe give me a good shake and tell me either to stop being silly, or that I am right to be concerned...?
Am a bit rubbish at this introduction malarkey... but.. helloo! Make the most of this because I think this will be a short one... if I don't start rambling. I do ramble a lot. It's lovely to be here, I'm Josie, from York in the UK and at this moment in time I'm sat at work in reception of a tiny tiny hotel which I work at wondering if the head chef is in a cinamon sticks throwing sort of mood or a knife throwing sort of mood if I ask to use the microwave... OOOR I could run down the street and buy cake.. hmmm. They do an amazing chocolate cake at this little cafe called cafe concerto and to be quite honest it makes my knickers fizz a little bit. ...... have I rambled?
Hehee I look forward to meeting you all, this seems like a really nice site and veery glad I found it.
